When you talk about love you should speak from the heart so here is my slightly raw take on love today.
Whatever love means for you right now, whether it’s intense pain, joy or something in between, I hope you can stop for a moment and turn some of the love you feel inwards. You are the only person that you can guarentee will walk the entire path of your life with you. Sometimes you might not like yourself very much, you might feel lost, you might not know who you are or who you want to be but that’s ok. You can be all of those things and still feel worthy of love because you are a unique beautiful human being and part of being a human being is to sometimes be abit of a mess, a bit emotional, a bit fucked up, to not have the answers, to not know. To make mistakes, and then make more and then make even more! These might not be easy things to feel but they’re not wrong things to feel.
I think a lot of pressure on love, relationships, the right way to be or to feel. We beat ourselves up, we try to mould ourselves or force ourselves to be different. We hurt people and it breaks us, we get hurt and it breaks us. We fix ourselves over time, sometimes we try to fix other people. Sometimes we feel that a part of us will always be left behind in someone elses heart and sometimes we feel that we will always hold them in ours.
Love has such power-to make you feel intense connection, invincible, validated, wanted, cared for. It can also make you feel alone, isolated, despairing and shame. As people, we have an innate need for human connection. It’s up there with our need for air and water and food! We are social creatures who crave company, compassion and warmth from others. It’s not suprising then that it has such an impact.
We can’t control who loves us, who we love and how our lives will ultimately unfold. At times that’s exciting, and at times that’s petrifying. At times we embrace it and at times we resist it with every bone of our bodies. We want to be happy, we want to be safe, we want security. So how on earth do we navigate life and all the things it throws at us? Perhaps the only real way to have any of these things is to find love in ourselves first.
So, with that in mind, whatever is going on for you in your life at the moment, just stop for a second. Take a deep breath, feel your heart beat and remind yourself that in the craziness of life you are an incredible person and that love doesn’t all have to come from other people. It’s not always easy to find love for yourself, but wrap your arms around yourself and remember that you will always have you and with a little time, compassion and patience and you can be pretty awesome-even if you don’t feel it now.
A friend once said to me that it all comes back to Love. I think she was right. But I think the best place to start is with yourself.